An exasperated Democrat writes:

The Democrats are such spineless, unimaginative dorks that they can’t make political hay even at a time like this with opponents like the Bush administration. I am (was?) a Democrat, and they make me sick. I can’t imagine what FDR, Harry Truman, or LBJ would have to say about the maladroit politicing of these amateurs. It only goes to prove that they have no core ideas about which political practices might cohere. On the other hand, I couldn’t ever be a Republican. I don’t know what to do. The great political philosopher, Dave Barry, probably had it right:

“The Democrats seem to be basically nicer people, but they have demonstrated time and again that they have the management skills of celery. They’re the kind of people who’d stop to help you change a flat, but would somehow manage to set your car on fire. I would be reluctant to entrust them with a Cuisinart, let alone the economy. The Republicans, on the other hand, would know how to fix your tire, but they wouldn’t bother to stop because they’d want to be on time for Ugly Pants Night at the country club.”

That’s why I’ve never thought of myself as either a Republican or a Democrat. Both parties drive me nuts – for different reasons.


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